


Stay with me

by Ailendolin



Series: Beginnings and endings [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Avengers: Infinity War speculations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-11-27
Packaged: 2019-02-07 18:03:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12846585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ailendolin/pseuds/Ailendolin
Summary: It ended on Midgard with the words, „I am here. You are safe.“The final battle against Thanos, the execution of Loki's plan and the aftermath of it all.Sequel toWhatever tomorrow may bringbut can be read on its own.





	Stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to thank all of you guys who liked my story "Whatever tomorrow may bring" and wanted a sequel! Your feedback is very much appreciated. This one is for you. I hope you enjoy it as much as the first one.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned here. They are the property of Marvel.

**Stay with me**

It ended on Midgard with the words, „I am here. You are safe.“

Being back under Thanos’s control for a second time was even worse than the first time it happened. Back then, Loki hadn’t known what lay in store for him. He’d been so weary of life when Thanos found him in the vastness of space that he hadn’t even put up much of a fight when the titan captured him. He’d fiercely regretted that later when unwanted hands were upon him and his thoughts were no longer his alone. Thanos had taken every weakness he found and turned it against him until Loki had nothing more to give. Pain had been his constant companion those days, both physically and mentally. But it had been his heart that had suffered the most when he’d realized that no one would be coming to save him.

That, at least, was different now. This time, Loki knew his brother wanted him to come home and would fight for him, and Loki protected that knowledge with all the strength he could muster even as his mind was violated as Thanos probed it for any hidden agendas. The feeling was horribly familiar, like a voice constantly whispering in his head and testing the limits of his mind. Then the pain came, searing and burning and laying waste to everything in its path.

Loki screamed.

He screamed and screamed until his throat was as raw as his mind felt. Through the pain only one thought remained: _He must not see my plan._ Loki held onto it with everything he could. The fate of the Nine Realms ( _now only Eight_ , a voice whispered smugly and Loki cursed, _soon only Seven_ ) relied on it.

In his mind, images of a burning Asgard flickered into existence. He felt Surtr’s flames lick his skin as the only place he had ever called home was destroyed because of his actions. So many lives perished that day, so much knowledge lost in the fire and destruction- so many memories and sentimental keepsakes of happier times gone in the blink of an eye and lost forever.

 _Like the blanket Frigga Allmother made you when you were but a child_ , Thanos’s voice whispered sinisterly.

Visions of his mother replaced the burning of Asgard and Loki wanted to cry and pull away because that part of his memories was precious. In the end, he stood no chance, just like he hadn’t all those years ago when Thanos had first captured him. He watched helplessly as the titan picked through every memory of his mother that was at least a little tainted with feelings of resentment and hurt. He saw his younger self practicing magic with her for the first time, just the two of them, and he remembered how happy he’d been that he finally had something that Thor would never be able to take away. Of course he’d been wrong. Barely ten minutes into their session one of the healers had entered the room and told them that Thor had been hurt during an exercise. His mother had barely even looked at him as she dashed out of the room in worry for her firstborn.

A similar memory flickered to life and Loki once more watched as his mother turned her back on him the moment Thor came back from his banishment on Midgard. To be so easily forgotten and cast aside had hurt just as much as when he’d been a child.

 _You never liked that, did you?_ Thanos asked and Loki could feel him smirk. _Being forgotten_.

Loki didn’t answer. He used all his energy to fight against the pain, to stop the visions and to keep that part of his mind hidden that had so meticulously planned Thanos’s downfall. The pain and visions didn’t stop but his barriers held. He was treated to a series of short moments of his long life where he’d been let down by his mother one way or another. They were insignificant, really, now that he looked back on them, but Thanos didn’t let him forget the hurt he’d felt once upon a time ago.

 _Do you think she ever loved you?_ he asked cruelly.

“Yes,” Loki couldn’t help but press out through gritted teeth. That was one truth he had never doubted, not truly.

Thanos laughed and the sound echoed in Loki’s head. _A jotun runt? I don’t think so. She didn’t even visit you in prison, did she? Not really._

Loki squeezed his eyes tightly shut as Thanos used the last time he’d seen his mother against him. It didn’t make a difference. In his mind, he could still see the hurt in his mother’s eyes clearly. His heart ached as he heard himself telling her that she was not his mother despite all the love she had shown him over the years. Tears burned his eyes like Surtr’s flames as he watched himself reach out to her only for his hands to pass through her illusion. He’d felt so foolish, then.

 _Maybe you even killed her_ , Thanos mused quietly. _You did set that creature on its path, after all._

Loki felt his heart constrict painfully as Thanos voiced exactly what he’d been quietly worrying about ever since he’d learned of his mother’s death.

 _Struck a nerve, didn’t I?_ Thanos laughed. _For someone who insists he doesn’t care about anything or anyone you certainly feel a lot._

“Felt a lot,” Loki choked out in barely concealed panic as he felt Thanos steering closer to the warded part of his mind that held his secret plan. “My mother is gone and whatever feelings I used to have died with her.”

 _What about Thor?_ Thanos asked, sounding mildly curious. He continued his probing in a different, safer but no less painful direction, but Loki didn’t dare breathe a sigh of relief, not yet. _You went back to him of your own free will when Asgard fell. Sentiment, Loki?_

Loki snorted, trying to keep up appearances. Even to his own ears it didn’t sound convincing. “I went back to him so I could deliver the Tesseract to you,” he hissed out against the pain.

Thanos’s grip on his mind and body tightened. _Then why didn’t you hand it over when I stopped your ship?_

Loki had anticipated that question. “Because I thought I would be more useful working against the enemy from within.”

It was the truth, or at least enough of it to make Thanos believe him, Loki hoped. The titan had no need to suspect that the enemy, in this case, was actually him and not the Avengers. Loki was pretty sure that in his megalomania the idea would never cross Thanos’s mind that it could be the Tesseract that would initiate his downfall. All Loki had to do was play his part a little longer and keep his thoughts hidden until the titan was satisfied of his loyalty.

 _Why come to me now?_ Thanos asked.

Loki felt the hold the titan had on his mind loosening a little so that the pain became almost bearable. 

“My brother began to ask unwanted questions and my position became compromised. There wasn’t any more I could do for your cause on Midgard so I came back to you, my lord, to offer you the Tesseract and my services.”

_You have served me well._

Loki felt like retching when he sensed Thanos’s pleasure at his words. Just when he feared he couldn’t hide his disgust any longer Thanos finally, blessedly, withdrew from his mind. The chains around Loki’s wrists vanished and he fell to the ground with a gasp. Self-consciously, he gathered up his tattered clothes, ignoring the pain flaring up in his broken and bleeding wrist.

 _Get up_ , Thanos commanded. _We have work to do._

The titan turned his back on him and Loki’s eyes narrowed.

‘Yes, we have,’ he thought, as he pulled on the remains of his tunic and limped after Thanos.

Loki stayed silent as the titan led him through numerous halls to the command center of his ship. He kept his face carefully neutral when Thanos explained his battle strategy and Loki’s role in it to him and nodded at all the appropriate moments. All he could do now was bide his time. Before he had left Thor and his friends this morning Loki had used almost all of his already severely depleted seiꝺr to alter the Tesseract in a miniscule but significant way. The moment Thanos started the last final battle against Midgard Loki would pull the trigger and hopefully disrupt Thanos’s ship enough to give Thor and the others a fighting chance.

Two hours later the time came to execute his plan.  

 _Go now. Take the Tesseract and open up a gateway for the rest of my army,_ Thanos commanded.

Loki bowed, wincing as the motion caused his bruised ribs to grind against each other. With so little seiꝺr left he couldn’t afford to use any to heal himself. “Of course, my lord.”

Thanos turned to look at him. _When we next see each other, there will be nothing left of Midgard._

Keeping his mind carefully blank Loki nodded and left. He felt the ship lurch into motion. They descended upon Midgard at a dazzling speed, a lot faster than Loki had predicted. Through one of the windows he watched as they broke through the cloud cover over Manhattan. A moment later, lightning hit the ship. It shook under Thor’s assault and Loki was thrown against the wall. He felt his left shoulder pop and wrenched it back into place before he could even think about it. Both his shoulder and broken hand throbbed with pain but Loki gritted his teeth and moved on.

Another direct hit to Thanos’s ship made him stumble. Thor and his friends were throwing all they had at their enemy but Loki knew the assault would only cause minor damages and would not be enough to bring the ship down. That was what he was here for, after all, to even the odds.

He was about to round a corner when the ship lurched with a different kind of force. Fear gripped Loki’s heart as he watched from the nearest window one of Thanos’s weapons striking a direct hit against the Stark Tower. Loki couldn’t see Thor or his friends anywhere but he hoped his brother was alright. The alternative was not acceptable.

Thanos fired his weapons four more times in quick succession and Loki realized he was running out of time. Finding a way to escape would take too long. The battle was commencing faster than he’d anticipated. He had to act now or there would be nothing left to protect and nobody to protect it.

He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. In his mind he saw the barrier he’d erected to hide his plan from Thanos. Taking a deep breath, Loki tore it down.

His last thoughts before he activated the trigger that would make the Tesseract explode were of Thor. ‘I’m sorry I broke my promise. Please forgive me.’

The ship shook under the force of the explosion and began tilting towards the ground. Loki smiled, relieved that his plan had worked and he had given his brother a fighting chance. Then everything went dark as metal screeched and broke all around him as Thanos’s ship crashed onto Midgard.

* * *

When Loki opened his eyes he was lying on soft grass surrounded by flowers of every imaginable kind. A soft breeze was caressing his skin and the sky was a brilliant blue overhead. Taking a deep breath, he realized it smelled like home even though that was impossible. His mother’s gardens had perished just like everything else when Asgard had been destroyed.

“Nothing is impossible when it comes to our memories,” a soft voice says gently.

Loki jerked his head around and a lump formed in his throat. “Mother …”

His mother smiled at him. She looked just as radiant as he remembered, beautiful and mesmerizing in her gentleness. “Hello, Loki. It is good to see you again.”

“Mother,” Loki tried again but no other words would form. There was so much to say, so much to tell her that he didn’t know where to begin.

His mother’s eyes softened. “There is no need to say anything, my son. Whatever you may have to tell me I assure you I already now.”

Loki shook his head and sat up. “How can you?” he asked in a voice full of anguish that for once he didn’t hide. “The last time we saw each other I was … I was unimaginably cruel to you.”

“You were,” his mother acknowledged and Loki flinched at her bluntness. “But then again, you had also just come back from a war that wasn’t of your doing and what must have felt like an eternity of torture before that.”

Loki’s eyes began to sting as he felt the phantom pain of Thanos’s probing thoughts in his mind. “How could you possibly know that?”

His mother’s smile became tinged with sadness. “As Allmother I saw and see many things, Loki,” she began. “After your father stopped the search for you I kept looking. I knew in my heart a terrible fate had befallen you but no matter how hard I searched I could not find you. For that I am sorry. It was only after I died that I learned the full truth about what had happened to you.”

Loki closed his eyes in pain at his mother’s casual mention of her death. “Then you must have also learnt that I had a hand in your fate as well.”

“Oh, Loki,” his mother breathed. Suddenly, there were arms around him, warm and real and tangible, and for the first time in years Loki felt safe again. “My death was not your fault, do you hear me? You showed him the way to the generator, not to me. You couldn’t have possibly anticipated what would happen after that.”

Loki gripped the soft fabric of her tunic tighter. “I still wish my lips had been sown shut that day. Maybe things would have turned out differently.”

He felt the gentle pressure of her lips against his hair. Then her body tensed. “And I wish we had more time, but you must go now, my son.”

Confused, Loki pulled back from the embrace. “Go where? Mother, what is going on?”

His mother reached out to take his hands in hers. “You cannot stay here, Loki. It is not your time yet.”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked, feeling panic rise in his chest at the thought of letting her go again. “And where is here, anyway?”

“Have you not figured it out by now?” his mother asked him calmly.

Loki took another look around the familiar gardens. At first glance nothing was amiss but then he noticed the lack of Asgard’s towers in the background. “This is not a dream. We’re in Valhalla,” he realized. His eyes turned back to his mother. “That means I am dead as well.”

His mother shook her head. “You are not, not yet. You survived the destruction of Thanos’s ship, but only barely. Your life hangs in the balance right now.”

“What about Thor?” Loki asked frantically as memories of the battle came back to him. “Is he well?”

His mother’s smile was full of love as she regarded him. “Your brother and his friends managed to defeat the mad titan Thanos because of your sacrifice. Thor is wounded but not grievously so. His heart, however, is another matter. He feels you slipping away from him, Loki. The longer you stay here the harder it will become to go back to him. Time is running out.”

“What if I don’t want to go back?” Loki whispered. “What if I want to stay here, with you?”

His mother raised their joined hands to place a kiss against Loki’s knuckles. Dimly, Loki realized his right hand was no longer bleeding and broken. “Then you will die,” she told him gently. “There is nothing I can do to stop this if it is what you truly desire.”

Loki pondered that for a moment. “But you don’t want me to stay. You wish me to go back to him.”

His mother let out a choked laugh. “I want nothing more than to have my children back at my side,” she confessed. “But I don’t believe you will be happy here, Loki, not when it comes at the prize of leaving Thor behind on Midgard.”

As much as it pained him to admit it Loki knew his mother was right. He’d promised Thor he would do anything in his power to come back to him. Breaking that promise now that he had a say in his fate felt wrong and so much like another betrayal that Loki was sure he would regret staying for the rest of his … well, afterlife.

“Go now,” his mother said gently even though her eyes were filled with tears. “Go back to your brother.”

“How could I possibly leave you?” Loki asked her, not willing to let go just yet.

He felt his throat closing up as she drew him into her arms once more. “Because it is the right choice, my son. I am not going anywhere. It is your brother that needs you most right now. Your people need both of you. I think you and Thor finally understand that, don’t you?”

Loki nodded against her shoulder. “I will miss you so much,” he whispered.

His mother’s arms tightened around him and Loki committed the feeling to memory. “I am never far,” she promised as she kissed his temple. “I will always watch over you and Thor, Loki. Never doubt my love for you.”

Loki blinked and let the tears fall. “I love you, too, mother.”

She pulled back and smiled at him through her own tears as she gently pushed a stray lock of hair behind his ear. “Goodbye, Loki,” she said as darkness crept upon the edges of his vision. “Until we meet again.”

Her comforting smile followed him into unconsciousness.

* * *

 Loki woke with a ragged breath to searing pain. Every cell of him hurt and he knew that part of the reason for that was his overuse of seiꝺr when he made the Tesseract explode. Above him, the sky was tinted orange by the setting sun as the first unfamiliar stars began to sparkle. It was nothing like his mother’s chambers in Valhalla, and death and destruction were all around him instead of flowers. He felt the loss of her and the feeling of home keenly, until a voice whispered, “Loki.”

Loki turned his head to the side to see his brother gently holding onto his left hand. He smiled as he realized the gesture felt just as comforting as his mother’s embrace had. “Hello, Thor.”

Thor let out a choked laugh. “I thought I’d lost you.”

“I know,” Loki whispered. His throat still felt raw from hours of screaming but the unabashed relief and happiness in Thor’s eyes made him forget his pain for a moment. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come back.”

Thor nodded. His thumb began to tenderly stroke the back of Loki’s hand. It was then that Loki noticed the sling and remembered his mother’s words.

“You are hurt.”

“Tis nothing,” Thor said with a dismissive one-shouldered shrug. “It is you I am worried about. You must be in great pain. I have already sent word for Eir. She should be here shortly.”

“What about the others?” Loki asked hoarsely. “Are our people safe? And your friends?”

Thor smiled at him. “Everyone is fine. Our people were safely out of harm’s way on the ship and while some of my friends were wounded during the battle I am assured they will make a full recovery. It is thanks to you that no one was lost.”

“So the plan worked,” Loki whispered in relief.

Thor dared to squeeze his hand a little tighter. “It did. But seeing you like this, seeing how greatly it cost you, I almost wish it didn’t,” he said in a quiet, subdued voice.  

Loki smiled faintly at him and squeezed his brother’s hand with as much strength as he could muster. “I would do it all over again in a heartbeat to have you and our people safe. I don’t regret it, Thor, and neither should you. We are both still alive. That is all that matters in the end.”

“And you are finally free of him,” Thor said, sounding so hopeful that Loki couldn’t bear to correct him

“That, too,” he acknowledged wearily. Thor didn’t need to know about his fear of never being truly free of Thanos, at least not now. There would be time later to talk about what happened on the titan’s ship.

“Make way!” a strong female voice rang out and Loki turned his head to the right to see Eir, Asgard’s chief healer, marching into their direction with a determined look on her face. She had no qualms about pushing Thor’s friends aside when they didn’t move fast enough. It made Loki smile.

“Lady Eir!” Thor greeted her, sounding relieved. “Thank you for coming so fast.”

Eir nodded her head in a respectful manner. “My king,” she said before her gaze turned toward Loki. “My prince.”

She dropped down next to Loki and raised her hands above his body. Loki felt the soothing tingles of her healing magic through his veins as she assessed his injuries. Her expression turned soft when she sensed the damage in his mind.

“You have been gravely wounded, my prince,” she murmured as she pulled several devices out of her bag. “I will do my best to repair the damage to your body. The rest time must heal.”

Loki offered her a pained smile as she began to heal the tearing in his throat. “I am sure it will,” he said in a hoarse voice.

“Hush,” she commanded gently. “Let me work.”

Slowly, Eir healed the most grievous injuries on Loki’s body. It hurt as the bones in his hand reset themselves and he almost screamed his throat raw again when Eir’s magic stopped his inner bleeding and healed his organs. The only reason why Loki didn’t black out from the pain was Thor’s soft whispering in his ear, a quiet litany of words that gave Loki something to focus on. The words were meaningless but comforted him nonetheless as did the gentle soothing motion of his brother’s thumb on his hand.

When Eir was done and only the deep ache of his overused seiꝺr remained next to the broken fractures of his mind Loki let out a sigh and pushed himself up despite his exhaustion. “Thank you, Lady Eir,” he told her sincerely. “You certainly are one of Asgard’s most valuable treasures.”

She raised an eyebrow at him but couldn’t quite hide her smile. “I see you are already feeling better, my prince, but flattery will get you nowhere. It never has.”

“True,” Loki affirmed with a grin that was still shaky around the edges. More seriously, he adds, “I do mean it, though. I have always admired and valued your work. Would you mind taking a look at my brother’s arm as well?”

“Of course not.” Eir moved to Loki’s other side and placed a gentle hand on Thor’s arm. “Broken in three places,” she assessed with a frown. “And the best the Midgardians provided you with was a sling?”

Loki would have laughed at the outrage in her voice if his ribs hadn’t still felt tender after just being healed.

Before Eir could turn her wrath onto Thor’s friends, Thor intervened. “Their medicine is not quite as sophisticated as ours, Lady Eir. They asked me to go to a hospital but I refused until Loki was found. The fault lies with me.”

Eir harrumphed but didn’t comment further on it. Instead she quietly reset Thor’s bones. To his credit, Thor only winced and gritted his teeth during the process. Despite the pain he was in he was careful not to squeeze Loki’s hand too tightly. Loki hoped his brother drew as much comfort from his touch as he had just a moment ago.

When Eir was finished she stood up and removed the sling from Thor’s arm. Turning around, she looked at Thor’s friends. “Anyone else in need of healing?”

Loki watched in faint amusement as Steve Rogers pulled a limping Tony Stark forward who protested loudly. Without a word Eir went to work and for a while Loki was lost in watching her heal. He felt like a small child again, wandering into the healing chambers after a battle and begging her to explain what she was doing. Thor’s warm and steady arm around his shoulders brought him back to the present.

“How do you feel?” his brother asked in a low voice.

For a moment Loki thought about lying and telling him that he was fine. The sincere concern in Thor’s eyes made him change his mind. “Tired, foremost,” he admitted finally.

Thor nodded. “Let me take you back to the ship?”

“That would be appreciated,” Loki whispered.

With Thor’s support he managed to stand up. He was barely strong enough to keep himself upright, even with Thor’s arm around his back. Thor pressed him closer to his body.

“Hold on tight,” he mumbled, and then they were flying. Loki closed his eyes and enjoyed the wind on his face as Thor took them to their temporary home. Their ship was hovering over the remains of the Stark Tower and even though Thor was flying at a measured pace they soon reached their destination.

Once inside their shared quarters, Thor carefully helped him to the bed.

“Thank you,” Loki breathed out, feeling relieved to finally be able to lie down again. Sensing Thor’s worry he added, “I will be fine, do not worry. I have just used too much seiꝺr in the last few days. It will take me some time to get back on my feet.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Thor asked.

Loki regarded his brother as he thought about it. There was a weariness pulling at Thor’s shoulders that hadn’t been there yesterday. Thor looked almost as exhausted as Loki felt. He tried to hide it behind his worry but Loki knew his brother. Not just for his own benefit but for Thor’s as well he asked, “Stay with me?”

Thor’s smile was warm and bright and just like their mother’s as it lit up his face. “Always, for as long as you will let me.”

He let his armor unceremoniously fall to the ground before he lay down next to Loki and reached for his hand. It was Loki who intertwined their fingers, desperate for contact.

“I saw Mother,” he whispered into the empty space between them. He didn’t meet Thor’s eyes when he added, “I could have chosen to stay with her in Valhalla.”

“Why didn’t you?” Thor asked softly.

Loki raised his eyes. “I wanted to,” he admitted, “but my need to come back to you was greater. I couldn’t break my promise to you.”

Thor moved forward until his forehead was gently leaning against Loki’s. “That couldn’t have been easy for you, leaving her behind,” he murmured.

“It was one of the hardest things I have ever done,” Loki confessed. “I already miss her so much.”

Thor squeezed his hand. “Me, too. I am glad you got to say goodbye to her.”

After that there was nothing left to say. Loki closed his eyes and focused on his brother’s breathing. The rhythmic pattern was so soothing that it didn’t take him long to drift off to sleep. When he woke up later with a painful gasp and the ghost of probing fingers in his mind, Thor simply wrapped his arms around him and drew him close.

“I am here. You are save, Loki.”

Loki believed him.

**The end**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you again for reading!


End file.
